(04-02-2021, 04:13 AM)Patches214 Wrote: -1 Your name is Jibobbi and your underboss is Burn Sanders. Nigga

(04-02-2021, 04:13 AM)Patches214 Wrote: -1 Your name is Jibobbi and your underboss is Burn Sanders. Nigga

(04-02-2021, 08:37 AM)KeemCar Wrote: -1 I like the idea, but there are a couple of things I would like to bring up that brings me to the decision of -1ing this application. 

1. So you bring up that this is an ITALIAN crime family, Yet your underboss is named "Artyom Boris" and one of your Capos is named "Hans Kapfer" both of which are high up made positions, when a person is inducted (made) into an Italian family they must be able to trace their blood back to the old country, you may bring up the point of "Their father is Italian so they are able to be made" Which would not be incorrect but their last name would be used to trace back, their last names are not Italian so they cannot be traced back, how can we expect serious Italian Crime family roleplay when your structure is not even Italian?

2. Your Backstory is very short, not detailed, and makes these MASSIVE jumps, I don't understand the reasoning for the "Italiano Massacre" as you put it, why would they kill them, how did they, when it's written like that the Versetti's don't strike me as smart and calculated, it may not be how you intended it to come across but when writing something like this, the little details are what really count. Then it suddenly makes this huge jump to them setting up in NYC, What is their reasoning for setting up there? With what rackets and legal fronts? From this backstory I can tell that it's not been hugely thought out, with a backstory there is a fine line that you have strayed away from, it's difficult but try to leave the ending a bit more open, when your backstory is like this it puts your faction in a difficult spot where you don't have as much freedom as you would like.

Please take what I have said into consideration and make some edits to it because without being open-minded to criticism you won't go far, I would like to be able to support you fellas when you create a better more solid application.

(04-02-2021, 08:37 AM)KeemCar Wrote: -1 I like the idea, but there are a couple of things I would like to bring up that brings me to the decision of -1ing this application. 

1. So you bring up that this is an ITALIAN crime family, Yet your underboss is named "Artyom Boris" and one of your Capos is named "Hans Kapfer" both of which are high up made positions, when a person is inducted (made) into an Italian family they must be able to trace their blood back to the old country, you may bring up the point of "Their father is Italian so they are able to be made" Which would not be incorrect but their last name would be used to trace back, their last names are not Italian so they cannot be traced back, how can we expect serious Italian Crime family roleplay when your structure is not even Italian?

2. Your Backstory is very short, not detailed, and makes these MASSIVE jumps, I don't understand the reasoning for the "Italiano Massacre" as you put it, why would they kill them, how did they, when it's written like that the Versetti's don't strike me as smart and calculated, it may not be how you intended it to come across but when writing something like this, the little details are what really count. Then it suddenly makes this huge jump to them setting up in NYC, What is their reasoning for setting up there? With what rackets and legal fronts? From this backstory I can tell that it's not been hugely thought out, with a backstory there is a fine line that you have strayed away from, it's difficult but try to leave the ending a bit more open, when your backstory is like this it puts your faction in a difficult spot where you don't have as much freedom as you would like.

Please take what I have said into consideration and make some edits to it because without being open-minded to criticism you won't go far, I would like to be able to support you fellas when you create a better more solid application.

(04-02-2021, 02:30 AM)JuggerFlock22 Wrote: [color} Canceled